The Simple Niwa Sushi

Ever since one week ago, I already have been crazing for sushi. Eunos's niwa sushi outlet was closed for renovation the time I went. I told myself i got to live with it and went home after that. Easily said. So this week nothing going to stop my craze.

Sadly, this week i got to make my way home alone this week. With a fieldpack on my back, I pracitcally made my way down to simei's east point to have my well deserved meal which cost me $12.10. I feel that fatigue coming out of my body. Aching here and there. All i need was a good nap or rest.

As time goes by on my way from pasir ris to simei by mrt, i walked past all the familiar places that will refresh memories from here to there. Practially it was everywhere. I did not held my head up high as i breeze past the shops without ever looking at my surrounding.

I told myself i must i could not fall back to square one which was last week. Soon i found myself sitting on that corner table of the shop that we had memories. The exact same seat i had dinner with her at niwa sushi. There was tons of people walking in and out of the shop. Eerking sound of school shoes was one of the most irritating thing some people really hate. As for me, it is different. Come on. I ask myself once again. Was it really there to have that meal or to seek a glimpse that i long for ? Sometimes it is so hard to know the answer. As i held the book 'P.S. I love you' walking the way out of east point, i find it so hard to bring myself away to seek an answer that i refused to face. I bring myself to take the mrt and get out of east point or more of simei before i fall back to square one. I took the route of not taking 38 as not to bring myself off that bus stop that i hate once to see again. Where we waited for my bus before every time we parted for a period not knowing when we would meet again.



At times, it is hard to bring yourself to recover from the past. In the 'P.S. I Love You' book i am reading, Holly find it so so so hard to forget Gerry. She lived by everyday with letters that she would only open every month. Seeking an answer that she want to hear. But by the time, she realised it again. Gerry isn't there anymore. With every item she look in her house, she carried memories she had with Gerry. Gerry's presence was always there with her. Always.

It's sad how i could bring myself to fall down and could not really recover from it. It is so much of a mistake that i will never recover. I know life is unfair. I am unfair to people and I am unfair to myself too. I am selfish in some sense. I could not bring myself forward no more than this very square. Every time, I try. I fell back. I keep trying and i keep falling back. I thought I could make it like every time i did. This is reality and the reality is not reality to me anymore.


I am missing you. Sorry.