Truth

To this point of time. I just got to speak the truth once again. If you readers out there wondered why i open this blog. It was purely for her. You told kevin you did not want to lose contact with my life. I fulfilled it for you. And i will continue to go on with it till the end of your exams. This is for your sake. The very last gift i could give. Whether i will continue to blog after your exams i really have no idea. I getting sick of what state i am in. Not that i gave up. Just that i want to lead my life peacefully and as a loner. Walking my life with not much expectation. I will just live my life as i am and for who i am

You understand how i feel since you read every entires of this blog.

Nevertheless, i hope this last few posts will not affect your concentration on your exams. I will be here still. Just take it as i am ranting if you want to.

David Tao (陶喆) - Yue Liang Dai Biao Shui De Xin (月亮代表誰的心) MV

Random Moves

9 months have passed! To see myself once again in this state. I am quite upset why i keep falling and falling. 9 months back then. I was a happy man. A very happy man. With everything i could have. A happy family, a caring girlfriend and a good life. I wanted more in my life. I was playful. I indeed was. I ruined it in 3 days.

I can't say that i don't enjoy my life now. It seems imperfect. Just missing something. I realised that i really need her now in my life. Regardless what things i need to give up for this to happen again. This is not a want anymore. I tell myself i need her in my life now. I find myself smile foolishly when i see the pictures i took with her. I find myself having the letter she gave me on our 1/2 year anniversary in my book i am reading still. I still have a picture of her and me in my wallet. I soon realised that she's gone for real. I really love her and i still do.

Sometimes i take a deep breath and look into the sky. Is it fate that brought us both together ? I realised she was the one i need and i told this repeatly to myself for the past 9 months. I will get over it. I eventually will. Soon, my brain stop functioning how i want it to be. It just automatically bring me back to what happened 9 months back. I found tears in my eyes even at this moment. I told myself i took one wrong step. That very wrong step i refuses to accept till now.

I told myself i will live with this regret. I will stay single. This love of mine will be kept away in that very place for a long long time. This is the first time for staying single so long and i will continue to be. I finally realise what it meant by i need you in my life.


Well. I am in camp now. Using the laptop to blog once again. Darn the retest tomorrow i got to take. It's retard. i scored 43/50. Nice results right. Well guess what. The passing marks is 45/50. Don't understand what is this. Pure stupidity.






Hey. To people who are constantly reading my blog. I know who are you people. Thanks.

Overly filled with food!

Well. Second nights out for Juliet company! I decided to stay in and not let myself indulge in the environment where all my money will go into food. =]

Somehow my room feels so empty now. Not to talk about it. It's kind of peaceful. Having standard obstacle course tomorrow. The worst activity in Specialist Cadet School. Even though it takes only 10 mins to finish. It will never fail to drain all your energy off from you.

Well going to have my actual Ippt on Thursday too. Silver to get more 100 dollars. Woot. I must jump jump jump my 225! Pray ah! Hope that basketball training helps a bit. That 100 dollars more is not far away! =]



To Siew Eng. Study hard for your 'A' level. Don't keep looking at my blog. So free ah ? Go study more during this time. Better than you waste time over here. Studies first priority! Even though i have wished you good luck for your exams plentiful times. This is one will be the last one.

Puff Daddy/Faith Evans/112 - I'll Be Missing You

봄 여름 가을 겨울 M V

2 weeks down

2/8 weeks

Tiring. Sports day officially is a waste of time! Argh! Why must we have sports day at 5.45am in the morning while most singaporean are still sounding asleep. Haiz

Tse yun birthday! Going to catch a movie later! Time to take a nap! BYE!

HATE IT!

Just hate times like this. When all my bunk mates are attached. While i am single, having no one to talk to. i hate my life. Argh.

Pain!

Went to see the medical officer once again. At last, i got the assurance that my back in one piece. T.T Well. There are still severe pain all over my back. Hope it will recover soon.

Kind of a boring day today. Stupid people doing silly things. Spamming on the chat room with warrant officers inside. Guess what did he spam! ' I LIKE SE*' Now at least we know why idiot starts with I. Ha.

Haze haze go away. Come again another day! I can't run in peace if you are here to stay. =[








Missed

Backstreet Boys - Just Want You To Know (In Live)

Courage

I just love the way we surf the net in bunk and having sufficent time to do our stuffs. Specialist Cadet School may just be the school for me. Well. i did a bold move today.

After considering for so long, i put that hatred down after so many years. She was my first love. My first girlfriend i had. I added her on facebook. She was surprised that i added her too. Maybe it was time i put down that hatred. Hating someone was not a easy task. She chat with me for quite a while. I kind of understand her well still. Many things have happened to her that i guess i let her down in some sense. As a friend, as a foe, as a ex-lover, i have let myself down too. She told me that her dad passed away two years back during dec 2008. It was a shocking news that i can ever experience. I never had something this close happening to me. He was my ex gf's dad. Even though we never talk much to him when i was with her. It hit me hard. Once again realising how much life could mean. How someone so kin to you could leave you so sudden. I could feel the sadness inside her still from the words she used and how she express herself when everything was not alright yet she put out a strong front.

If Erica u are reading this, i always believe you are someone strong. Things may be rough and tough for now. The rain is here to stay but eventually you will put it through like everyone does. Sunlight will show upon you. You can already see glimpse of it shining in front of you. Don't ever give up on yourself as no one has ever gave up on you. No one will ever. No matter how things fall apart. I am here to stay as a friend. I will be here for as long as i can. Hope this words will inspire you to walk on in life as you are one brave woman.




Life does not end here. I believe what army have taught us will pay off some day. We are leaders meant to be. We will carry our values to where we conquer. We will excel with pride. I will learn to be impartial in whatever i do. Ethics! I will fight on with the fighting spirit that we carry.

First nights out for Juliet

Well. Our first nights out! We are the mighty Juliet warrior who lepak! LOL

It have been a hectic weekend somehow for last week. Met up yung xin and gang for l4d2! that's super random. Then i book in for my camp.

Well. Indeed things are real random. She text me yesterday asking for my mum's birthday. I don't really know what that means but i guess it came to nothing once again. My mum keep telling that there's still chances between me and her. I was like O.O

I always believe that chances are given only to people who knows how to appreciate it. Someone once told me chances are given to people who grab it when the time is right. I know the time is not right now. Whether the chance will ever come again, i have totally no idea too.

Today, i have my first nights out in SCS. I guess we are the first company to have nights out in the whole of entire SCS. Not too bad indeed. lol

Well. I am going to book out tmr too! For my X ray. The back injury seems like its recovering after the physicist. Finally can sit on a chair for 30 mins or so. But at times it still feel numb. T.T







Chances don't come twice. You gave it to me once and i threw it away. To ask it again is comparable to ask you fall into a pithole. I am staying single as my heart could not replace anyone with you. Someone as beautiful as you. Till the day i get attached again may be the day i found someone better. That day will come or not is a true mystery as till now you are placed first on my list. Patience is virtue. To me, patience is just an illusion. A illusion too far to dream of.
`

김종국-내 마음이 사랑입니다

The day we step back in!

Sounds so depressing to say this. Once again it's book in day! Kind of sick and tired of army. It's so boring! Hope the weeks pass faster.

-.- Joo koon here i come! =[

Isluse. =/

A day out!

11am to physicist! Needles all over my back! Aw. It works really well. I can finally sit normally with less pain!

1pm to changi general hospital with ah di! See kevin after operation on his leg.

2pm to east point for lunch! Long john! Fat! ARGH

3pm back home!

7pm to parkway to get some stuffs!

9pm back at home!

Busy day. I love busy days. Days without things to do are miserable. Especially when i start thinking of stuffs. Stuffs that are hard to forget. Hate or love is just a thin line i guess.

Specialist Cadet School

1st week of SCS. A new kind of life, a new start of army life. First time seeing SO SO SO many warrant officers around. O.O Well. Life will never be the same again.

Ignorance is it a bliss or ignorance is just pure arrogance ? I wonder.

7 more weeks to go. Bear with it and i will be post out i hope. Hoping to see our 7th coy platoon 1 section 1 people again! darn.

Tomorrow!

It's the last day of block leave. Tomorrow i will be enlisting to my new unit fulfilling my dream of becoming a sergeant. How i wish time would extend just a bit more. I really enjoyed this week with my friends! Thanks! Reality Check Time!

2 huge bags to go to pasir laba camp! I think both weigh around 50kg together. T.T The lucky thing is that my dad will be driving me there! 8am the time to check. I.E. to say it is the start of the new beginning! =] (I.E. << quoted from 2LT Yen Berg! ).

Something do change for a reason and something just will remain the way it is. Looking the first gift she gave me when we got together. The thermometer. It will remain as it is. Believe it or not. It is with me for that 4 months that i have been through in camp for BMT. We constantly change our life in the way we want it, yet not changing it is also a form of changing.

Last day of block leave

Well. In an blink of an eye, one week has gone. It is damn sad my pay only came today. Money does not come free i got to say. We work so hard for that pathetic pay of ours. As we spend every single dollar of it, we slowly forget the true meaning of every blood and tears we shed for that single cent and dollar.

Slowly we realise that what is money compared to friends we have. I slowly let myself go into a dilemna that forgets whats money can do to you or not. Times are getting a turn for me. As i turn single for now, money does not come at a good cost. At the start of month, as i step into the first day. I found out my bank is left with 150 to spend for the month. Not that i am a big spender nor am i a giver of wealth. As i plan for my future, i found myself at this spot of in between the line of lonliness and friends.

A line that i got to decide. To explain in short. At times i can be giving and out-going. At times i can't be that. I only do this as i care for my future. As all this money i save would all go this saving for my uni. Hope you guys do understand what am i going through. =]





I NEED MORE TIME! I WANT A IPHONE 4G!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


Show some appreciation to your heroes. The people that matter in your life, mom, dad, best friend, girlfriend, your choice.

[HQ] 05 One of A Kind - C.N.Blue w/ Lyrics

MM eulogy

MM Lee's eulogy: The last farewell to my wife

In a touching eulogy to his wife, MM Lee says without Mdm Kwa, he would be a different man, with a completely different life. Here is his speech reproduced in full

MediaCorp

Ancient peoples developed and ritualised mourning practices to express the shared grief of family and friends, and together show not fear or distaste for death, but respect for the dead one; and to give comfort to the living who will miss the deceased.
I recall the ritual mourning of my maternal grandmother died some 75 years ago. For five nights, the family would gather to sing her praises and wail and mourn at her departure, led by a professional practised mourner. Such rituals are no longer observed. My family's sorrow is to be expressed in personal tributes to the matriarch of my family.

In October 2003 when she had her first stroke, we had a strong intimation of our mortality.

My wife and I have been together since 1947 for more than three quarters of our lives. My grief at her passing cannot be expressed in words. But today, when recounting our lives together, I would rather like to celebrate her life.

In our quiet moments, we would revisit our lives and times together. We had been most fortunate. At critical turning points in our lives, fortune favoured us.
As a young man with an interrupted education at Raffles College, and no steady job or profession, her parents did not look upon me as a desirable son-in-law. But she had faith and confidence in me. We had committed ourselves to each other. //
In February 1952, our first son Hsien Loong was born. She took maternity leave for a year. That February, I was asked by John Laycock, the Senior Partner, to take up the case of the Postal and Telecommunications Uniformed Staff Union, the postmen's union. They were negotiating with the government for better terms and conditions of service.

Negotiations were deadlocked and they decided to go on strike. It was a battle for public support. I was able to put across the reasonableness of their case through the press and radio.
After a fortnight, they won concessions from the government. Choo, who was at home on maternity leave, pencilled through my draft statements, making them simple and clear.

Over the years, she influenced my writing style. Now I write in short simple sentences, in the active voice. We gradually influenced each other's ways and habits, as we adjusted and accommodated each other. We knew that we could not stay starry-eyed lovers all our lives; that life was an ever on-going challenge with new problems to resolve and manage.

We had two more children, Wei Ling in 1955 and Hsien Yang in 1957. She brought them up to be well-behaved, polite, considerate and never to throw their weight around as the prime minister's children. As a lawyer, she earned enough, to free me from worries about the future of our children.

She saw the price I paid for not having mastered Mandarin when I was young. We decided to send all three children to Chinese kindergarten and schools. She made sure they learned English and Malay well at home. Her nurturing has equipped them for life in a multi-lingual region.

We never argued over the upbringing of our children, nor over financial matters. Our earnings and assets were jointly held. We were each other's confidant.
She had simple pleasures. She would walk around the Istana gardens in the evening, and I hit golf balls- hundreds of them, to relax. Later, when we had grandchildren, she would take them to feed the fish and the swans in the Istana ponds. Then we would swim. She was interested in her surroundings, for instance, that many bird varieties were pushed out by mynahs and crows eating up the seeds and vegetation.
She discovered the curator of the gardens had cleared wild grasses and swing fogged for mosquitoes, killing off insects they fed on. She stopped this and the bird varieties returned. She surrounded the swimming pool with free flowering scented flowers and derived a great deal of pleasure smelling them as she swam. She knew each flower by its popular and botanical names. She had an enormous capacity for words.

She helped me draft the Constitution of the PAP. For the inaugural meeting at Victoria Memorial Hall on 4 November 1954, she gathered the wives of the founder members to sew rosettes for those who were going on stage.
In my first election for Tanjong Pagar, our home in Oxley Road, became the HQ to assign cars provided by my supporters to ferry voters to the polling booth. She warned me that I could not trust my new found associates, the left-wing trade unionists led by Lim Chin Siong.
She was furious that he never sent their high school student helpers to canvass for me in Tanjong Pagar, yet demanded the use of cars provided by my supporters to ferry my Tanjong Pagar voters. She had an uncanny ability to read the character of a person. She would sometimes warn me to be careful of certain persons; often, she turned out to be right.
When we were about to join Malaysia, she told me that we would not succeed because the UMNO Malay leaders had such different lifestyles and because their politics were communally-based, on race and religion. I replied that we had no choice and that we had to make it work . But she was right. We were asked to leave Malaysia before two years.

When separation was imminent, Eddie Barker, Minister for Law, drew up the draft legislation for the separation. But he did not include an undertaking by the Federation Government to guarantee the observance of the two water agreements between the PUB and the Johor state government. I asked Choo to include this. She drafted the undertaking as part of the constitutional amendment of the Federation of Malaya Act- the Constitution itself. She was precise and meticulous in her choice of words. The amendment statute was annexed to the Separation Agreement, which we then registered with the United Nations. //

After her first stroke, she lost her left field of vision. She slowed down her reading. She learned to cope, reading with the help of a ruler. She swam every evening and kept fit. She continued to travel with me, and stayed active despite the stroke. She stayed in touch with her family and old friends. She listened to her collection of CDs, mostly classical, plus golden oldies. She jocularly divided her life to BS and AS- "before stroke" and "after stroke", like BC and AD.

She was friendly and considerate to all associated with her. She would banter with her WSOs (woman security officers) and correct their English grammar and pronunciation in a friendly and cheerful way. Her former WSOs visited her when she was at NNI. I thank them all.

Her second stroke on 12 May 2008 was more disabling. I encouraged and cheered her on, helped by a magnificent team of doctors, surgeons, therapists and nurses.
Her nurses, WSOs and maids all grew fond of her because she was warm and considerate. When she coughed, she would take her small pillow to cover her mouth because she worried for them and did not want to infect them.

Her mind remained clear but her voice became weaker. When I kissed her on her cheek, she told me not to come too close to her in case I caught her pneumonia. I assured her that the doctors did not think that was likely because I was active. When given some peaches in hospital, she asked the maid to take one home for me, for my lunch. I was at the centre of her life.

On 24 June 2008, a CT scan revealed another bleed again on the right side of her brain. There was not much more that medicine or surgery could do except to keep her comfortable.

I brought her home on 3 July 2008. The doctors expected her to last a few weeks. She lived till 2nd October, 2 years and 3 months. She remained lucid. They gave time for me and my children to come to terms with the inevitable. In the final few months, her faculties declined. She could not speak but her cognition remained. She looked forward to have me talk to her every evening.

Her last wish she shared with me was to enjoin our children to have our ashes placed together, as we were in life.

The last two years of her life were the most difficult. She was bed-ridden after small successive strokes; she could not speak but she was still cognisant. Every night she would wait for me to sit by her to tell her of my day's activities and to read her favourite poems. Then she would fall asleep.

I have precious memories of our 63 years together. Without her, I would be a different man, with a completely different life. She devoted herself to me and our children. She was always there when I needed her.

She has lived a life full of warmth and meaning. I should find solace at her 89 years of her life well lived. But at this moment of the final parting, my heart is heavy with sorrow and grief.

I'm not worthy

Firstly, i got into specialist's sch! So so so so happy now! But the sad thing is my camp will be at pasir laba camp! Joo Koon! T.T So dreadful at times to think of it. Well, at least i got into what i wanted.

OMG IT'S FRIDAY ALREADY >.< 3 more days to enjoy. =[





If she's amazing, she won't be easy.
If she's easy, she won't be amazing.
If she's worth it, you won't give up.
If you give up, you're not worthy.

I gave up. I am not worthy of your love. =] sounds so nice.

The old me!

Remembering i once said to my ex-girlfriend on how i thrifty when i was with her.

Just love the phrase of this. Downgrading myself when i was with her.

From Niwa Sushi to Edo Sushi
From Revoltage to Newbie Shirt
From Nike Air Max to Slippers

I realised how much i really care for her when i plan every bit of my cents and dollars for her just to accommodate her. Well till this day the money was all well spent. Spending to my very last bit of my pocket money just for that one day of meeting her to catch a movie or so. So yes. things to add on.

Well those days ARE OVER! Dennis is ready to step back to life and be himself once again.





BUT I AM STILL BROKE! HAHAHAH! FOOD BAGS CAPS AND EVERYTHING NICE TILL U DROP DEAD MOANING THAT YOU ARE BROKE!

【with Lyric】 ♥ Very relaxing version - Love The Way You Lie ♥ ♫♪

Guard Duty Down! BLOCK LEAVE!

FREEDOM TILL MONDAY! =] hahahaha

Kim Tae Woo - Letter That Can't Be Sent

Guard Duty

T.T

2.30pm tues to morning of wed! SIAN AH!

NEVERTHELESS! I WILL SURVIVE! =]

K-PoP

Download k-pop!
http://www.ihoneyjoo.com/ =]

PHOTOS FOR POP!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/54497226@N05/5049209485/

All the photos for my POP! I filtered lots of them from different places. Credit to some of the people like adrian's friend zhi yong and lots more.

Going for a jog soon! It's going to rain =[

Aim to lose 5 more kg to 70kg and train up! =]

Kim Jong Kook 김종국 잊을게 지울게

To her!

I got nothing to say to you. You know how i feel. I believe so. I will stop eventually. Years to come. Decades to come. It does not matter anymore. As i know the end will draw near for us. I do miss you still. Words do not matter anymore as we run away from each other. I admit i am running so do you.

I will not be sorry anymore as it will be no use.

This next song will be for you and me. Hope you like the song and know what the song means.

The day we put our head up high

The day we have became TRAIN SOLDIERS! Finally we promoted from a chao recruit to a private!


Where my future lies next. SISPEC i hope. Aiming my dream to be a 3SG!


My dream is not far away i guess.


As days count down to my next posting on 8 of October!



Just love the days in 7th company. We were the pioneer of this legendary company. We will leave our legacy down generation of recruits that will be like us.



Congrats to all of us who POP! 3 thousands of us. The parade was marvelous due to you all!
Always remembering 7th Coy! =]

Never to forget Platoon 1 Section 1. My beloved bunk mates. I will never ever forget you guys for life. No matter where we are, no matter wherer we go, we will always be 7th Coy Platoon 1 Section 1 pioneer batch! =]