Random Moves

9 months have passed! To see myself once again in this state. I am quite upset why i keep falling and falling. 9 months back then. I was a happy man. A very happy man. With everything i could have. A happy family, a caring girlfriend and a good life. I wanted more in my life. I was playful. I indeed was. I ruined it in 3 days.

I can't say that i don't enjoy my life now. It seems imperfect. Just missing something. I realised that i really need her now in my life. Regardless what things i need to give up for this to happen again. This is not a want anymore. I tell myself i need her in my life now. I find myself smile foolishly when i see the pictures i took with her. I find myself having the letter she gave me on our 1/2 year anniversary in my book i am reading still. I still have a picture of her and me in my wallet. I soon realised that she's gone for real. I really love her and i still do.

Sometimes i take a deep breath and look into the sky. Is it fate that brought us both together ? I realised she was the one i need and i told this repeatly to myself for the past 9 months. I will get over it. I eventually will. Soon, my brain stop functioning how i want it to be. It just automatically bring me back to what happened 9 months back. I found tears in my eyes even at this moment. I told myself i took one wrong step. That very wrong step i refuses to accept till now.

I told myself i will live with this regret. I will stay single. This love of mine will be kept away in that very place for a long long time. This is the first time for staying single so long and i will continue to be. I finally realise what it meant by i need you in my life.


Well. I am in camp now. Using the laptop to blog once again. Darn the retest tomorrow i got to take. It's retard. i scored 43/50. Nice results right. Well guess what. The passing marks is 45/50. Don't understand what is this. Pure stupidity.






Hey. To people who are constantly reading my blog. I know who are you people. Thanks.