Army Days

Home Sweet Home!

I am finally back from confinement week. Serving the nation is always a hard process for all boys changing to man. 17 days have gone. Yet nothing has changed at all. What should I say about army. It is a rountine almost everyday. Waking up at 5.15am to brush your teeth getting ready for 5BX then breakfast. All the way to dinner. Met some friends in there of course. Somehow I made more friends than i met. 13 new friends and a new adventure ahead of me. In this 4 months, friends will be brothers and brothers are meant to have a meaning. To take care of each other in camp. Ernest I got to say is one of the many I have met in there. He is my buddy!

Well. We spent all 17 days in there. Marching, singing and exercise. Running and gymming were how our time were spent. Kind of enjoy it. Getting fit and stuffs.

In the 17 days I met with lots of hardship. Not with army life, it was more because of her. Everyday, I met moments that surface her in my life. From mosquito bites to tons of stuffs.
I don't know why I am losing the grip too often that I can't count what am i doing this. Every time i miss her i would send a blank msg to her. In occassion like long nights, I will find myself sending almost 2 to 3 messages to her. It was kind of stupid to do so. I will try to control it well.

I wonder sometimes. Are we really meant for each other or is it not ? Somehow I reassure myself, every time I look into my surrounding. I left a photo of me and her in my wallet since the day she tore all the stuffs of me and her. I found one exception picture that she only tore bits of it. The picture was still intact in some case. It is silly for me to do so. Issues over issues, problems over problems. How can i make myself give up when the feelings are still vivid till this day.

It seems she kind of recovered from it already. I hope I will withdraw my feelings fast so I would not hurt her in any sense. Giving up is one process human got to face, even though it was not the best way. I know myself that this girl is the one I want to continue my rest of my life. Things can't be changed and mistake can't be forgiven.

I hate to say this still. Tears were in my eyes as I wrote this. Nothing will change the fact that i wrote. I still love her but i will never have the chance to show it ever again. How long it will take i don't know, how far can I go is really not up to me anymore. My mind and heart are overtaking me yet things will never change anymore. I always think that fairytale do happen but only in books. Dreaming till this very day that the message from her will come saying I will give you another chance and forgive you for what you did. Reality is hard to face.


Facts said.

No point having a girlfriend if you cant maintain it. Only do so if you earn a stable income to support the girl you really love. Giving the best to her you can offer is what we call love.
( sgt wx )