Saturday, November 13, 2010

Who cares about my blog ?




I decide to change my blog name one last time. For those who cares, eventually they will find their way here. It is easy but if u don't ever bother, hell yeah who cares about my blog.

It have been some time since i last blog as i know she was having her A's. 2 days ago, she finished her last paper. And now i guess she is enjoying her life.

I told myself i will close this blog after 3 posts till it reach 100. I will keep my words as it is.

To the wonderful ex-gf i once hold dearly. Congrats on finishing your A's first and for most. I just have to tell you something before i close my blog. It will be long long time for us to recover for this fall we had. I left scars all around that will never seems to heal forever. I know at this point of time, it had been long over. I am trying to hold back on how i will let go of this. I seek lots of ways to get over this.

Sometimes i feel down, i struggle to hold on. I ask my ex ( pearlyn ). I still miss you but i know i got to let go some day. She told me this. If you felt this way, what makes you think she don't too ? If it is true, i am sorry. I can't bring myself to move on. I know i lost the girl of my life. The girl that i finally realise i could live with for the rest of my life. Who cares about the flaws you have ? I do have too. My flaws are just too huge for anyone to forgive and forget and lastly to accept. It was all too late to say too much. It's a habit i can't change and i know i won't till i learnt it the hard way.

I got to say thanks for caring for my family especially my mum. You will make her day when you come to my house and have a meal and say her food is nice and delicious. And if you did not know. My mum always like to say. Woah your this gf will know how to eat a lot huh. Well. Secret exposed. Come to think of it. I think you will eventually miss her more than i do.

I am still sorry once again for bring this upon you. I know being your very first boyfriend, i will leave the deepest scar more than anyone else you will be with in the future.

I know you will eventually expect this. I love you still. I am still brave to say this even though i am seeing another girl now. I still hope for a chance for forgivenss regardless what it takes. All the decision lies with you now. I will here to wait for a reply. A reply that may not come.

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