Saturday, July 31, 2010
The PowerHouse Blast!
Powerhouse Powerhouse Powerhouse!
Well. Yesterday was a nice day to start and end with. Starting a day at 1pm isn't always a bad thing. Time passes real fast yesterday. I got to drop some events due to lack of time. Well started the day with meeting tse yun for lunch and booking of her Iphone 4G.
Soon afterwhich, went for a slow jog with tse yun and yucheng at ecp. It was 4pm then. A slow jog till 445. Basketball after that till the sun sets. By the time, I got home. It was already 7pm. My family was all gone and I got the news that they went out for my grandfather's birthday. All left alone at home. I get myself prepared for the last event of the day. Kevin Birthday At PowerHouse!
It was a blast. We all know it and i know it like how we taste it. Black label! Martell! And all we see was merlions! Ha. First one down. Chia Hon Tek. 45 mins of drinking he was well gone. Next to go was Kevin, the birthday boy! LOL. Next was Sebastian! Ha. The ultimate drink drank drunk goner. Dance till he drop dead! And next was me! It was a fun night and ENJOYABLE was the funny thing you can get! =]
Well did some foolish stuffs there! To start I message my ex. Ha. And next i started calling gillian for whatever reasons.
With my head spinning like mad now, i think i got to stop for now. Lets all wait till next week.
YEAH I GOT MY OLD SELF BACK! WOOT>.< TO START! LET ME DO SMTH FUNNY AFTER MY THIS POST! WE SHALL SEE! =]
Well. Yesterday was a nice day to start and end with. Starting a day at 1pm isn't always a bad thing. Time passes real fast yesterday. I got to drop some events due to lack of time. Well started the day with meeting tse yun for lunch and booking of her Iphone 4G.
Soon afterwhich, went for a slow jog with tse yun and yucheng at ecp. It was 4pm then. A slow jog till 445. Basketball after that till the sun sets. By the time, I got home. It was already 7pm. My family was all gone and I got the news that they went out for my grandfather's birthday. All left alone at home. I get myself prepared for the last event of the day. Kevin Birthday At PowerHouse!
It was a blast. We all know it and i know it like how we taste it. Black label! Martell! And all we see was merlions! Ha. First one down. Chia Hon Tek. 45 mins of drinking he was well gone. Next to go was Kevin, the birthday boy! LOL. Next was Sebastian! Ha. The ultimate drink drank drunk goner. Dance till he drop dead! And next was me! It was a fun night and ENJOYABLE was the funny thing you can get! =]
Well did some foolish stuffs there! To start I message my ex. Ha. And next i started calling gillian for whatever reasons.
With my head spinning like mad now, i think i got to stop for now. Lets all wait till next week.
YEAH I GOT MY OLD SELF BACK! WOOT>.< TO START! LET ME DO SMTH FUNNY AFTER MY THIS POST! WE SHALL SEE! =]
Friday, July 30, 2010
Standard Obstacle Course
Well. I always thought army was a breeze. This was not the end yet it was not the start too. Start of my horror starts with this course, most guy will have to overcome in army. Standard obstacle course. In short, SOC it was called. I never really know my fear of heights was that great till the day I stand on the jacob's ladder. Having myself struck on the log for practically 10 mins. It was an illusion my mind have been running through my mind, trying to convince myself to overcome my fear.
Even though it was a once in a lifetime experience at SOC. I injured my palm with 4 blisters on my 2 hands. It was a painful too. Look at this from another point of view. To overcome something is such a short time was tasting victory from the tip of my tongue but to lose it as soon as one day too was a fall from the sky. One word. ARGH!
Well. Even since siew eng had been out the picture, I told myself it was well over. I overcome it too. I simply stop thinking of her for the past week. Even though i dreamt of her for the first 3 days for army. Sunday, monday and tuesday. It all seems so dim. Fading like a dying light.
I know she will still be the best girlfriend i ever had. Ha. But the thing is i ever had. She's gone for a reason. There is no more tears shed for her. No more there will be.
I am well prepared this weekend! DRUNK I WILL BE! POWERHOUSE IS WHERE WE WILL GO AND GET DRUNK! HA! GOOD LUCK TO ME AND MY BROTHER KEVIN!
Even though it was a once in a lifetime experience at SOC. I injured my palm with 4 blisters on my 2 hands. It was a painful too. Look at this from another point of view. To overcome something is such a short time was tasting victory from the tip of my tongue but to lose it as soon as one day too was a fall from the sky. One word. ARGH!
Well. Even since siew eng had been out the picture, I told myself it was well over. I overcome it too. I simply stop thinking of her for the past week. Even though i dreamt of her for the first 3 days for army. Sunday, monday and tuesday. It all seems so dim. Fading like a dying light.
I know she will still be the best girlfriend i ever had. Ha. But the thing is i ever had. She's gone for a reason. There is no more tears shed for her. No more there will be.
I am well prepared this weekend! DRUNK I WILL BE! POWERHOUSE IS WHERE WE WILL GO AND GET DRUNK! HA! GOOD LUCK TO ME AND MY BROTHER KEVIN!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Wander like a soul
Like a body without a soul i was for the past few months. Moving around with that fake smile of mine. What should i say about this. At present, I am pretty glad I moved on. I took it the hard way. Like many people it was hard to move on. I am single now. I stay on with my single life.
Like a apple pie, many of us don't wish to see me crumble again to a state that many never seen before for years. The last time i went on to this state, it was years back like after my O's when i broke up with first ex. It was the hardest moment that many of us have to face. Some survived and some obviously left this world. I am the strong among the weaks.
I going to let god play with this for the next few months while i venture on with my conquest in army. Dennis aims to achieve things like:
> Silver at least for IPPT
> To lose weight and espically my stomach fats!
> To get into a command school ( Specialist School ) T.T Mandai!~
> Enjoy my days till I POP!
Like Holly in the book, I won't be her. Living life with regrets and day by day waiting for a letter. There are still many people i should care for. And yes i am caring still.
See you guys next week. Time to book in again today!! -.- Dreadful!!
Like a apple pie, many of us don't wish to see me crumble again to a state that many never seen before for years. The last time i went on to this state, it was years back like after my O's when i broke up with first ex. It was the hardest moment that many of us have to face. Some survived and some obviously left this world. I am the strong among the weaks.
I going to let god play with this for the next few months while i venture on with my conquest in army. Dennis aims to achieve things like:
> Silver at least for IPPT
> To lose weight and espically my stomach fats!
> To get into a command school ( Specialist School ) T.T Mandai!~
> Enjoy my days till I POP!
Like Holly in the book, I won't be her. Living life with regrets and day by day waiting for a letter. There are still many people i should care for. And yes i am caring still.
See you guys next week. Time to book in again today!! -.- Dreadful!!
Friday, July 23, 2010
It all ended.
Ending of a beautiful relationship, friendship and now I officially declare me and her as strangers. It is hard to go pass this stage of my life. As i lost another friend, yet she don't really bother at all. How sad is my life. Well basically relationship do end on this path that both parties refuse to bother what and how it happened.
First it happened to me and my first ex, Erica. Now it happened again on another ex of mine, Siew Eng. Sometimes life is just weird at times. Come to think of it. The day i befriend her and start to hate her, the last thing i wanted to do was to break all connections with her. From msn, facebook, skype and even my blog. I know she have been reading my blog like many people do. She still care for me. The day we last chat last week. She gave me a cold shoulder through out the whole conversation. It seems funny yet weird. She message my friend of mine this.
Did den deleted his blog ?............. She wanted to know my blog. She did not want to lose contact with me.........
How complicated can human being be. She's one I got to bow down to. She asked me something like this. What do you want from me after so long ? Would a friend ask you direct to your face this ? I was traumatized how ugly she can be. I was her ex boyfriend and yet i don't think i am her dog or something along that line. Mutual respect is what I always expect from people. I don't owe her my life. What is done is done. I can't do anything to turn time back yet i tried my best to salvage all there is. I face my life with a new light now. Not to hate her but just not to know her anymore. I will continue to love her. And don't get this message wrong. Like a memory in my mind. I will love her for who she was when she was with me in the past.
The old her practically.
First it happened to me and my first ex, Erica. Now it happened again on another ex of mine, Siew Eng. Sometimes life is just weird at times. Come to think of it. The day i befriend her and start to hate her, the last thing i wanted to do was to break all connections with her. From msn, facebook, skype and even my blog. I know she have been reading my blog like many people do. She still care for me. The day we last chat last week. She gave me a cold shoulder through out the whole conversation. It seems funny yet weird. She message my friend of mine this.
Did den deleted his blog ?............. She wanted to know my blog. She did not want to lose contact with me.........
How complicated can human being be. She's one I got to bow down to. She asked me something like this. What do you want from me after so long ? Would a friend ask you direct to your face this ? I was traumatized how ugly she can be. I was her ex boyfriend and yet i don't think i am her dog or something along that line. Mutual respect is what I always expect from people. I don't owe her my life. What is done is done. I can't do anything to turn time back yet i tried my best to salvage all there is. I face my life with a new light now. Not to hate her but just not to know her anymore. I will continue to love her. And don't get this message wrong. Like a memory in my mind. I will love her for who she was when she was with me in the past.
The old her practically.
A New Day
Well. It all ended.
Tired. I am well drained from this week army physical training. Shall blog again tomorrow. Nights People!
Tired. I am well drained from this week army physical training. Shall blog again tomorrow. Nights People!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Pathetic Me
Sorry to Gillian Gan. I got to say sorry to you for all sort of reasons. Sorry for not able to recover. Sorry for not able to bring myself up again. Sorry for breaking your heart again and again. Sorry for being insensitive. Sorry for being a complete loser in your eyes. Sorry for being such an arse.
I am staying single for now. When will i recover myself ? I have no idea. My self-esteem and confidence level is dropping by day. I am feeling like a complete loser. I don't know what am i doing to myself. I hate myself at times. I really do. I hate myself for not doing anything progressive for my happiness. I know what i really want but i am not fighting for it. Because of that, i feel like a complete loser. People fight for their future and yet i am sitting here lazing to wait for my future to unveil infront of me.
I will stay strong. For you.
I am staying single for now. When will i recover myself ? I have no idea. My self-esteem and confidence level is dropping by day. I am feeling like a complete loser. I don't know what am i doing to myself. I hate myself at times. I really do. I hate myself for not doing anything progressive for my happiness. I know what i really want but i am not fighting for it. Because of that, i feel like a complete loser. People fight for their future and yet i am sitting here lazing to wait for my future to unveil infront of me.
I will stay strong. For you.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Nightmare
Well. Awake at 8.20am explains what i had gone through the night. It was one of the most scariest night i will ever have and one of my last i hope.
What if one day you woke up losing all the connections with the person you love so dearly. From facebook to msn to even reality. She seems to just disappear from this face of this earth. Changing all her contacts or maybe just disappear. You try typing her name into the search engine and find her missing from the list you always used to search for her. Her email just seems to change. It is how funny things can be. I cried in this dream of mine. Eventually I jump to my death. It was spooky i got to say. Dying in your dream/nightmare. This may just be a sign i got to give up before i hurt myself in reality.
From someone who really care about me. She said this to me. If this girl really care/love you still, she in the first place will never abandon you and leave you dangling around with this mixed feelings. Maybe so. Perharps so.
The Simple Niwa Sushi
Ever since one week ago, I already have been crazing for sushi. Eunos's niwa sushi outlet was closed for renovation the time I went. I told myself i got to live with it and went home after that. Easily said. So this week nothing going to stop my craze.
Sadly, this week i got to make my way home alone this week. With a fieldpack on my back, I pracitcally made my way down to simei's east point to have my well deserved meal which cost me $12.10. I feel that fatigue coming out of my body. Aching here and there. All i need was a good nap or rest.
As time goes by on my way from pasir ris to simei by mrt, i walked past all the familiar places that will refresh memories from here to there. Practially it was everywhere. I did not held my head up high as i breeze past the shops without ever looking at my surrounding.
I told myself i must i could not fall back to square one which was last week. Soon i found myself sitting on that corner table of the shop that we had memories. The exact same seat i had dinner with her at niwa sushi. There was tons of people walking in and out of the shop. Eerking sound of school shoes was one of the most irritating thing some people really hate. As for me, it is different. Come on. I ask myself once again. Was it really there to have that meal or to seek a glimpse that i long for ? Sometimes it is so hard to know the answer. As i held the book 'P.S. I love you' walking the way out of east point, i find it so hard to bring myself away to seek an answer that i refused to face. I bring myself to take the mrt and get out of east point or more of simei before i fall back to square one. I took the route of not taking 38 as not to bring myself off that bus stop that i hate once to see again. Where we waited for my bus before every time we parted for a period not knowing when we would meet again.
At times, it is hard to bring yourself to recover from the past. In the 'P.S. I Love You' book i am reading, Holly find it so so so hard to forget Gerry. She lived by everyday with letters that she would only open every month. Seeking an answer that she want to hear. But by the time, she realised it again. Gerry isn't there anymore. With every item she look in her house, she carried memories she had with Gerry. Gerry's presence was always there with her. Always.
It's sad how i could bring myself to fall down and could not really recover from it. It is so much of a mistake that i will never recover. I know life is unfair. I am unfair to people and I am unfair to myself too. I am selfish in some sense. I could not bring myself forward no more than this very square. Every time, I try. I fell back. I keep trying and i keep falling back. I thought I could make it like every time i did. This is reality and the reality is not reality to me anymore.
I am missing you. Sorry.
Sadly, this week i got to make my way home alone this week. With a fieldpack on my back, I pracitcally made my way down to simei's east point to have my well deserved meal which cost me $12.10. I feel that fatigue coming out of my body. Aching here and there. All i need was a good nap or rest.
As time goes by on my way from pasir ris to simei by mrt, i walked past all the familiar places that will refresh memories from here to there. Practially it was everywhere. I did not held my head up high as i breeze past the shops without ever looking at my surrounding.
I told myself i must i could not fall back to square one which was last week. Soon i found myself sitting on that corner table of the shop that we had memories. The exact same seat i had dinner with her at niwa sushi. There was tons of people walking in and out of the shop. Eerking sound of school shoes was one of the most irritating thing some people really hate. As for me, it is different. Come on. I ask myself once again. Was it really there to have that meal or to seek a glimpse that i long for ? Sometimes it is so hard to know the answer. As i held the book 'P.S. I love you' walking the way out of east point, i find it so hard to bring myself away to seek an answer that i refused to face. I bring myself to take the mrt and get out of east point or more of simei before i fall back to square one. I took the route of not taking 38 as not to bring myself off that bus stop that i hate once to see again. Where we waited for my bus before every time we parted for a period not knowing when we would meet again.
At times, it is hard to bring yourself to recover from the past. In the 'P.S. I Love You' book i am reading, Holly find it so so so hard to forget Gerry. She lived by everyday with letters that she would only open every month. Seeking an answer that she want to hear. But by the time, she realised it again. Gerry isn't there anymore. With every item she look in her house, she carried memories she had with Gerry. Gerry's presence was always there with her. Always.
It's sad how i could bring myself to fall down and could not really recover from it. It is so much of a mistake that i will never recover. I know life is unfair. I am unfair to people and I am unfair to myself too. I am selfish in some sense. I could not bring myself forward no more than this very square. Every time, I try. I fell back. I keep trying and i keep falling back. I thought I could make it like every time i did. This is reality and the reality is not reality to me anymore.
I am missing you. Sorry.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Ease the pain!
To add in. Today is book in day. It always this day all NS men will have mixed feelings. Especially recruits like me and you. This week objective. To smile more.
I will lead my life again on my own and my way. Even though my heart will stand by itself, it will never be shaken again. To put it, i will still find it hard to forget her yet i just to save it to myself. Expecting nothing will happen between us anymore. Face reality in its hard way.
Never fall in love was a total lie. If i was given another choice, i will still choose her over many.
Even though she was not the most prettiest girl i have ever met, she was one of the best girl with one very spontaneous personalities i have ever met in my life. She handle stuffs with an attitude that many will never have. She equips herself with one of the hardest lock hardly anyone could open.
She did things we all never expect she will. She surprised me with an action that i will never forget in this lifetime. I love her for who she was. And why did i used was. I will never know what she is thinking again. Never will i again.
Face it dennis. Face it!
Spilling the beans again.
I will lead my life again on my own and my way. Even though my heart will stand by itself, it will never be shaken again. To put it, i will still find it hard to forget her yet i just to save it to myself. Expecting nothing will happen between us anymore. Face reality in its hard way.
Never fall in love was a total lie. If i was given another choice, i will still choose her over many.
Even though she was not the most prettiest girl i have ever met, she was one of the best girl with one very spontaneous personalities i have ever met in my life. She handle stuffs with an attitude that many will never have. She equips herself with one of the hardest lock hardly anyone could open.
She did things we all never expect she will. She surprised me with an action that i will never forget in this lifetime. I love her for who she was. And why did i used was. I will never know what she is thinking again. Never will i again.
Face it dennis. Face it!
Spilling the beans again.
Depression
Well. I read the news on that tragic of that widow that husband who fall off the rooftop of the hotel days back. It seems i may suffer slight depression as i realised some signs that was mentioned was similar to mine. I told myself i must recover from this and step up and move on with a positive mindset. I told myself what belongs to me will never run away and whatever is not mine will never be mine. I told myself i will live a better life then i ever had before. I know my mindset is set that i will hardly forget you in this lifetime. Life is unfair and there are things you got to suck thumb to live on.
I told myself if there was ever a chance that we will even meet up. I would bring myself to ask her this question. It is simple and easy. Do you still know me ?
Trust me. I guess if there will ever be this chance. Should i even say hi and just ignore ? It's weird and people may find it funny for what i said above. It seems that question seems simple yet complicated. Things are never easy.
Today i enjoyed myself. Going out with people i really care for and forgetting my depression. I may have recovered bits today yet there is still tomorrow. Face it. Face reality.
Thanks people. YC KEV GG and SCH =D
I told myself if there was ever a chance that we will even meet up. I would bring myself to ask her this question. It is simple and easy. Do you still know me ?
Trust me. I guess if there will ever be this chance. Should i even say hi and just ignore ? It's weird and people may find it funny for what i said above. It seems that question seems simple yet complicated. Things are never easy.
Today i enjoyed myself. Going out with people i really care for and forgetting my depression. I may have recovered bits today yet there is still tomorrow. Face it. Face reality.
Thanks people. YC KEV GG and SCH =D
Friday, July 9, 2010
Days Ahead.
Day 1 of my booking in.
It was a simple day like any other day that all of us book in. Seeing everyone all around with their jocket caps and the greeny uniform with their field pack. Looking at all the botaks around me. All that sweat we got to drop. All that blood we got to shed over the weekdays till the day we book out on friday.
First came the run. I don't really know why at times when i run i really feel numb and don't really know what am i doing to myself. I don't feel anything when i run. Simply, I can't seems to care anymore. I push myself to a limit i have never reached before.
Day 2.
I fell sick having a fever of 37.5. So as usual I skipped all my training on that day itself. Went to see the medical officer. Was given 3 days to rest. Don't really know whether it was a bad or good thing. The purpose of me serving the army is to keep myself fit and lose my weight. The day ended easy for me as others had speed training. The second speed training i missed. I had never done a speed training till this very day. It seems that I am not very much fated to run for speed training.
Day 3.
I was terrribly ill in the morning with my fever still on for the day before till now. It seems hard to concentrate. Luckily my section in-charge asked the sgt for me to rest in bunk. It seems once in a lifetime thing, it was APPROVED! with a Att B status. So i slept through the whole morning till 11am while the rest went for a run of 2.4km. I was regarded having the best recruit life you can ever imagine. Even though I was sick, I told myself i could not slack my way off. I push myself. I ran almost 4km and did 160 crunches. It backfired in some sense that the fever came back just before light out. I really need someone to message this time. Feeling down due to holding on too long, sick, lonely and whatsoever. Tons of things went through my mind. I already knew there won't be any reply. Face it.
Day 4.
A bad day is over. Now i got to face reality once again. The other part why am I just fortunate to be the luckiest recruit you can ever imagine. Being on MC, I was given this opportunity to be the lucky few to fire a SAR 21 gun! 6 bullets were given to us each. BANG BANG BANG BANG! It all ended within seconds but tons of things went through my mind before I hold on to that gun and look into the scope and start firing. Details I will keep it to myself.
The throat somehow tored into half today too. I can't have my meals properly. Can't even swallow my saliva at all. I skipped some training and did some night exercise instead before I sleep.
Day 5.
As usual, road march road march road march! My throat was still the same as yesterday. Pain was the only word I could use for my throat. Lucky, today is our book out there. Here i am blogging my way.
Shall continue tomorrow. Looking forward day by day. Hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
P.S. I Love You.
It was a simple day like any other day that all of us book in. Seeing everyone all around with their jocket caps and the greeny uniform with their field pack. Looking at all the botaks around me. All that sweat we got to drop. All that blood we got to shed over the weekdays till the day we book out on friday.
First came the run. I don't really know why at times when i run i really feel numb and don't really know what am i doing to myself. I don't feel anything when i run. Simply, I can't seems to care anymore. I push myself to a limit i have never reached before.
Day 2.
I fell sick having a fever of 37.5. So as usual I skipped all my training on that day itself. Went to see the medical officer. Was given 3 days to rest. Don't really know whether it was a bad or good thing. The purpose of me serving the army is to keep myself fit and lose my weight. The day ended easy for me as others had speed training. The second speed training i missed. I had never done a speed training till this very day. It seems that I am not very much fated to run for speed training.
Day 3.
I was terrribly ill in the morning with my fever still on for the day before till now. It seems hard to concentrate. Luckily my section in-charge asked the sgt for me to rest in bunk. It seems once in a lifetime thing, it was APPROVED! with a Att B status. So i slept through the whole morning till 11am while the rest went for a run of 2.4km. I was regarded having the best recruit life you can ever imagine. Even though I was sick, I told myself i could not slack my way off. I push myself. I ran almost 4km and did 160 crunches. It backfired in some sense that the fever came back just before light out. I really need someone to message this time. Feeling down due to holding on too long, sick, lonely and whatsoever. Tons of things went through my mind. I already knew there won't be any reply. Face it.
Day 4.
A bad day is over. Now i got to face reality once again. The other part why am I just fortunate to be the luckiest recruit you can ever imagine. Being on MC, I was given this opportunity to be the lucky few to fire a SAR 21 gun! 6 bullets were given to us each. BANG BANG BANG BANG! It all ended within seconds but tons of things went through my mind before I hold on to that gun and look into the scope and start firing. Details I will keep it to myself.
The throat somehow tored into half today too. I can't have my meals properly. Can't even swallow my saliva at all. I skipped some training and did some night exercise instead before I sleep.
Day 5.
As usual, road march road march road march! My throat was still the same as yesterday. Pain was the only word I could use for my throat. Lucky, today is our book out there. Here i am blogging my way.
Shall continue tomorrow. Looking forward day by day. Hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
P.S. I Love You.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Doubts
Linger around with that feeling is like playing your hands with fire. It's sad here and there. Going back to camp. Blah blah.
I got to ask some questions over and over myself.
1) Am I still loving her ? Yes
2) Have you ever thought of patching up ? Yes
1) Am I still loving her ? Yes
2) Have you ever thought of patching up ? Yes
3) Do you think she over you ? Yes
Well. It is funny I got to answer all these questions myself. It's funny. I am all alone once again writing this blog. Finally I got what she was applying to me on her nick. Finally get to see it.
I don't know whether her nick applies to me. I guess it was.
She is so right about that. Elaborating what she said. People who are closest to you will always tend to make mistakes that hurt you so deeply that you will never recover from it. We swore never to hurt but we are still human no matter what. Human make mistakes. I chose my path to be honest. Even though i still regret it sometimes.
Still remembering those times. She will always say " Time will heal everything." It was well said. Time will heal everything for her. For me, it will too. How long ? I will never know. At least for her, I already could see her stepping out of this pit of sadness carrying on with life. I am sorry that I have hurt you.
The day I broke off with you is not the day I stop loving you. I needed time to clear my thoughts. It was unfair to you so i chose this path. I put you infront of even myself. The mistake is done and I can't change that fact. The only thing is that I thought of you first.
To those people out there reading my blog. All humans make mistakes. If you make a mistake, you admit it. If you don't, too bad. Live with it for life. It will show what type of person you are.
In life we also learnt things that if you do something bad, don't get caught.
And also people who are around you make mistakes. Whether it is yr parents, siblings, your aunt uncle, who or whatsoever. Touch your heart. Will you ever forgive them for their mistakes they do ?
Was our love too shallow that I wasn't even worth forgiving ? I never doubt it. It wasn't. Was my mistake too grave ? Yes I guess so.
Well. At least she won't know it either. Till this day, she was the still the best girlfriend I ever had. Even though the name of girlfriend is not where i want it to end, I got to live with it.
Must stop whinning and suck it up and do it. T.T
Friday, July 2, 2010
Days in 7th Coy
Time flies. Finishing my 1st month of the 24 months of army.
Let me summarise in short some of the achievements and people I know in my section. From bed 1 to 14.
Fiq, ZhenJin, Avan, Sebastain, Andy, Leng Ho, Jia Yue, Brie, Adrian, Jia Qing, Boon Kiat, Kian Wei, Me and last but not least Ernest.
We spent hardship all together achieving more than what we can ever imagine. Living in one small room of our own, we spent every moment thinking of one thing. BOOK OUT! Woot. Well not only that I got to say. We just trying to grab what we have never achieved. From 0 passes in our IPPT to 5 passes. We will keep trying and trying to achieve the impossible.
At least for me, I achieve my personal best for my 2.4km. 10.47 mins. I never knew I could do that till I try. Mind over body, mind over body. I will always keep that in mind.
Flashback keep haunting me back. It seems that it seems impossible to stop being emotional when i talk about her. At times, I will just randomly hold on to her photo and look at it. Looking at the last piece of the 4 letters she gave me for our 6th month anniversary. Reading it again and again. Thinking about that ring we made. Thinking of how much I wish I could own her to be beside me always.
To conclude what much of my section mate had said. It seems hard to patch back a relationship. In addition, the feeling will be different. Unless both parties love each other truly. I got to agree with that. And they once said that, coming to that as times passes, feeling do fade. It have never fade in any ways for me. As for her, i will never get to know. Sending my prayers to the sky every single day. Hoping for an answer I long to hear.
I have stopped my empty messages for a reason. A's is nearing and it is time for her to concentrate on her studies. I guess I got to say this. All the best for her studies. If this is a test for my love for her, I will bear with it. If she still love me, i guess it will be for her too. Who cares what stand ahead of both of us, if we really truly love each other ?
Love is selfish. Nothing is impossible. God have once bring us together for a reason. I hold on to you for 2 years and 1 month. Now i am asking God for one last chance. This last chance to let me hold on to you for the rest of my life. Even at this point of time, my eyes once again are about to tear and this is the worst times i had in recent times. I am cutting my connection with you just for you and your future. Sending my prayers from far.
Telling myself to SMILE. Forcing every bits of my happiness to come out. There are still lots of people who i can help out there but is there any soul out there willing to help me.
Cheer Up Dennis! =)
Let me summarise in short some of the achievements and people I know in my section. From bed 1 to 14.
Fiq, ZhenJin, Avan, Sebastain, Andy, Leng Ho, Jia Yue, Brie, Adrian, Jia Qing, Boon Kiat, Kian Wei, Me and last but not least Ernest.
We spent hardship all together achieving more than what we can ever imagine. Living in one small room of our own, we spent every moment thinking of one thing. BOOK OUT! Woot. Well not only that I got to say. We just trying to grab what we have never achieved. From 0 passes in our IPPT to 5 passes. We will keep trying and trying to achieve the impossible.
At least for me, I achieve my personal best for my 2.4km. 10.47 mins. I never knew I could do that till I try. Mind over body, mind over body. I will always keep that in mind.
Flashback keep haunting me back. It seems that it seems impossible to stop being emotional when i talk about her. At times, I will just randomly hold on to her photo and look at it. Looking at the last piece of the 4 letters she gave me for our 6th month anniversary. Reading it again and again. Thinking about that ring we made. Thinking of how much I wish I could own her to be beside me always.
To conclude what much of my section mate had said. It seems hard to patch back a relationship. In addition, the feeling will be different. Unless both parties love each other truly. I got to agree with that. And they once said that, coming to that as times passes, feeling do fade. It have never fade in any ways for me. As for her, i will never get to know. Sending my prayers to the sky every single day. Hoping for an answer I long to hear.
I have stopped my empty messages for a reason. A's is nearing and it is time for her to concentrate on her studies. I guess I got to say this. All the best for her studies. If this is a test for my love for her, I will bear with it. If she still love me, i guess it will be for her too. Who cares what stand ahead of both of us, if we really truly love each other ?
Love is selfish. Nothing is impossible. God have once bring us together for a reason. I hold on to you for 2 years and 1 month. Now i am asking God for one last chance. This last chance to let me hold on to you for the rest of my life. Even at this point of time, my eyes once again are about to tear and this is the worst times i had in recent times. I am cutting my connection with you just for you and your future. Sending my prayers from far.
Telling myself to SMILE. Forcing every bits of my happiness to come out. There are still lots of people who i can help out there but is there any soul out there willing to help me.
Cheer Up Dennis! =)
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